So they paid €60M for Osman… not because he scores goals, but because his name sounds like a Shakespearean villain who took AI to therapy? The Saudis didn’t buy talent—they bought a myth. Meanwhile, my Tableau dashboard just cried. If you think this is analytics… I call it emotional arbitrage. 🤔 You still believe ‘Bunu’ is a goalkeeping legend? Drop me a GIF of Ronaldo dancing on a slot machine. Or just admit: algorithms don’t lie—but they sure do dream in euros.

The bear’s roar? Still loud. But the fans? They’ve unplugged. After 12 seasons of emotional whiplash and inconsistent metrics, we’re done with the narrative loop.

Roque Jr.’s ghost act on international duty? That’s not talent—that’s context collapse. And Rodri? Invisible despite better numbers.

If this player leaves, I won’t pay for celebration packages—unless someone refunds my phone credits.

So: who’s next to get bench-ified? Drop your bets below 👇