When Python scripts meet puberty

As someone who’s modeled everything from NBA plays to esports meta, I can confirm: U19 Spanish Youth Cup quarterfinals had more chaos than my code during playoff season.

Real Betis’ header hustle: Crossing accuracy at 42%? Even my grandma’s bingo predictions are more reliable. But those Mariana headers? Chef’s kiss.

Depor’s backline: 89% pass accuracy? That’s not defense—that’s a Swiss watch with teenage swagger. Rubén Fernández scoring 7 in 4 games? Madrid’s scouts are probably DMing him mid-match.

Madrid’s ‘debugging needed’: Right-back position = Windows Vista vibes. Yáñez’s brace was slick, but that xGA? My model just blue-screened.

Barca blowing a 3-0 lead to Valencia? Proof that no algorithm accounts for teenage adrenaline (or 87th percentile defensive oopsies).

Semifinal prediction: Depor’s 38% title odds look solid… unless hormones strike again. Cue dramatic data crash sound