Liverpool didn’t ‘offer’ Isak—they ran his xG through a Python script while he slept on spreadsheets like it was Tuesday night therapy. Osimhen’s 0.81? That’s not transfer drama—that’s mathematical seduction. Meanwhile, Watkin’s 27% higher chances are just the algorithm whispering: ‘You’re welcome.’

So… who’s really chasing who? The numbers don’t lie—but they do ghost you after halftime.

Vote below: Would you trade your ex for an xG model? 📊